G.r.o.w.i.n.g. I.n.t.o. Y.o.u.r. S.p.i.r.i.t.

The following is from Richard Seaman, as one of his daily thoughts to ponder. And following that is my response. This one really made me think :]]

Though to Ponder Day 3: People grow & evolve when they sit inside the fire. (Metaphorically) Are you willing to sit in the fire, be uncomfortable to evolve?

 I think I am now becoming more and more willing to put myself into uncomfortable positions in order to grow. But while I was growing up… forget about it! I didn’t so much as speak one single word if I thought it would cause the slightest change in the energy or a space or someone’s mood. I have always been a “pleaser.” I don’t like confrontation; massive shifts in short amounts of time, or people to get angry/upset with me or a situation. And this has really been a huuuge problem in my life for a long time. It has made me regret so much in school, or other activities I participated in – because I wasn’t myself. I didn’t give the impression that I wanted to, people didn’t get to know the REAL me, and no one even remembers me much because I was soo invisible. I wanted to be invisible. Because at least if your invisible, no one can not like you.

          I am reaching stages in my life where I am growing in the world, I am working in the flow of my own personality and authentic self. I have slowly shifted things to where I am getting to be the person that I want to be. I look how I want to look (mostly). I have my pink hair, and my piercings and tattoos that express myself. I do a million creative projects all the time. I’m going to school – which is something that has always held one of my greatest passions – learning. I’m trying to start my own practice healing people and helping them. There are so many more things that I am doing.

          The important thing though, about the fact that I am going to my dreams – is that I have to be uncomfortable A LOT in order to get there. In school while learning how to heal others, you are on a journey to heal yourself first. And with that comes some really intense emotional releasing, and sharing, and just flat out screaming out your anger from time to time. I have changed soo much as a result though. I don’t even know where I’d be had I not come to this school and started to slowly push my comfort zone in order to achieve what I want, which in the end result is just happiness. Helping people is what I’ve always wanted to do. And this is the perfect way. I have a gift, a blessing, a whatever you want to call it. And I want to give, and share it with others. If being a little uncomfortable along the way is what it takes – then I can live with that.

          The unfortunate thing is that there are so many people that at the first sign of discomfort, they run or shut themselves away. They don’t even wait a second to see if it’s really as bad as they think it will be – and it usually isn’t. At the end of the day I can tell myself that I’m on the right path to where I need to be going, I grow every.single.day. And my relationships with everything in my life – People, Nature, The Divine, etc are growing as well. I’m happy, because I know that I’m working for it.

Things I did in the past for money weren’t satisfying. It was all worthless because I was just trying to get money as quick as I could, so I could get high as quick as I could. I was full of shame, guilt, and so much self-hatred I don’t know how I did not explode. And honestly, I was so much more uncomfortable all the time. I couldn’t sit through an entire movie at the theatre without having to leave, I couldn’t be around a lot of people, I couldn’t even leave the house most of the time. My most used phrase then was probably “I can’t” or “I just don’t feel well enough.”

I may have more anxiety and panic attacks now, but I’m treating them. I take care of myself. The difference is that I deal with the discomfort. The best part of putting yourself out there in order to evolve, is that it feels soo good. I know I’m trying something new, and in the end I will have learned something new and on the inside I’m changing – for the better.

The importance of going outside your comfort zone is so vital, that in order to achieve your dreams – it’s completely inevitable. It’s a MUST. But it’s really up to you if you are ready to grow or not yet? Do you WANT to raise your vibration? Do you want to GROW your self confidence? Think about it, and just take a few steps out of your comfort level and live a little. See what happens! I’m sure it’ll be okay in the end.

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